- Don’t leave shit IN the house.
- Don’t overwhelm someone moving in with a shopping list of broken ikea shit you aren’t bothering to move. Put it outside and let em shop.
- Get your fucking moving van out of the fucking neighborhood when you are done. This is the among most egregious sins of 9/1, as space is tight already.
- If you aren’t comfortable driving a moving truck, don’t. Ask a friend! Ask yr dad! Ask anyone! Don’t be like that dude who almost ran me over, apologized, and almost ran me over again two minutes later.
- If it is humanly possible, move out early or earlyish. If move out time is “by 10am”, have a shred of human fucking decency, get some sleep tonight, and wake up early. It’s better for everyone. Karma, y’know? Just because it’s a weekend doesn’t mean you can’t pretend to be a responsible adult.
- You are fucked
- You are so fucked
- Welcome to the jungle
- Keep an eye on your shit on the sidewalk, everyone thinks everything is free.
- You have no business being here and you are an asshole for gawking and making it harder for everyone moving in or out. This is a great day to go to Mount Auburn Cemetery or hike the Fells, or take the commuter rail to literally anywhere not Allston.
- Because dummies have been increasingly blowing up the spot, now salvage trucks roam the hood all weekend and take everything that is remotely good.
- Stop and think about picking up shit on a corner. 99 times out a hundred the next interaction you will have with it is dumping it into the street a year from now for some other sap to pick up. It’s like The Ring, but hoarders.
I’m about to head into the belly of the beast to clear out some clutter in my old room and hand over my key. SEE YOU IN THE PIT
So I’m moving out of Allston again. This time it’s serious… I’m crossing the river. I’ll get dragged back to this neighborhood plenty, but I feel like I can pass along some nuggets of knowledge. Here’s part 1 of an informative series about cool shit that is GTFO approved.
OH YOU FANCY
Oh shit, you’ve got OKC date number 3 and you don’t know what to do. EASY. Go to Dok Bua. Yeah, yeah, it’s in Brookline. Close enough. Here’s the awesome part: it’s BYOB. Stop at Mall Discount Liquors on the way and snag a bottle of wine or fancy beer en route. P.S. get the tofu pad prik khing, it’s off the chains.
THE WOK OF SHAME
Or… not? If you’re too something to talk to a human and you need the best fast Foodler-based non-pizza calories to the dome in the shortest amount of time, order from Asia Wok. The General Whatever’s chicken/tofu is choice. Ask for it WITHOUT BROCCOLI and you’ll get like twice as much. Most of the time the dude just hands it out the window of his minivan without stopping.
THE END OF HARVARD AVE
O’Briens-goers and Lower Allstonites take note, Regina’s has dollar slices at the bar (if you get a drink) from 11-2am. Great post-show nightcap since the latest OB’s runs is 1am.
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
GTFO’s favorite spot to eat in the hood is Punjab Palace. Lunch is cheap, dinners are pricey but if you split it / order a bunch of sides you’ll get two meals out of it. Bollywood music videos on blast 24/7, bangin’ samosas, and FUCKING CHERRY NAAN. OKC date secret weapon: “Hey where should we go?” “OH I KNOW AN AWESOME SPOT”.
I’m gonna drop some more of these. Hit me with any questions, I might as well let all the trade secrets go.
I was walking from NoBro to LA and saw a whole lot of orange cones going up. I asked the policeman putting them up - he said National Grid is doing a TON of work this weekend in Lower Allston. Like, tearing streets up road closure kind of stuff. Keep your eyes peeled if you’re a sucker like me that’s stuck moving on the first.
I hope the irony of Menino talking about helping people move easier while gumming up the GAP with media trucks isn’t lost on anyone else.
I’ve heard a bit of buzz about inspectional services already going around / getting ready to start auditing houses RE: over-occupancy. In short - if you live in a house that’s only supposed to have X living people in it, you need to make sure it looks like it only has X people living in it….
My house had a major fucking problem with this sort of thing last year, and I don’t know if anyone from Allston actually reads my Tumblr, but if you have experience with ISD then please contact me because I would like to talk about it. ALSO, if you are reading this, you should know that you MUST give ISD written permission or invite them into your home (kind of like vampires) in order for them to be legally allowed in. The same is not true for your landlord, but your landlord must notify you at least 24 hours in advance. They will try to tell you they can come in whenever they want, but that is not true. Stand up for your rights.
Lil bit o’ signal boost for this response. Stay informed.
I’ve heard a bit of buzz about inspectional services already going around / getting ready to start auditing houses RE: over-occupancy. In short - if you live in a house that’s only supposed to have X living people in it, you need to make sure it looks like it only has X people living in it. Especially if you’re not on a lease and you’re stacked up in some sort of non-bedroom (living room with a makeshift door / loft / dining room/ pantry / basement) situation, you need to have a serious conversation with your housemates about this. The landlord is apparently supposed to be notified first and let the tenants know when IS is going to come, but you know how that is. You either need to get legit or look legit (but please stay SAFE! Be smart, have working smoke detectors and usable emergency exits even if you’re in a 12-person punx squat).
This happening is obviously tied to the recent fires in over-occupied houses (and happens to some degree every year), but there are a number of other repercussions that this could cause. Team GTFO is worried that this could be an issue come September. There could be a lot of working-class immigrants / students / punx in a lot of trouble if this ends up being a big thing.
To the girl in the party bus who leaned out the window and said “hey, the Wilco show is that way”. Side note, apparently a dude just got stabbed by The Model.